


the day before yesterday

by excorde



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Cuddling, M/M, Spooning, but i tried writing it as to not make it too angsty, chanwoo is also there, hanbin's tattoos are featured, i love yunhyeong, idk how to tag this, it's actually anxiety, jaewon is there if u squint, or something, trigger warning for that ig?, yunbin nation!!!, yunhyeong is a little jealous, yunhyeong is in denial, yunhyeong is overthinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 09:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18140564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excorde/pseuds/excorde
Summary: Yunhyeong's eyes trail towards Hanbin's stomach, or abs, or whatever you call it, and he doesn't like the way his breath hitched when he did, so he wills his eyes towards Hanbin's hip tattoo, which he soon realizes is a mistake. He starts reading the inked words on Hanbin's body.Like father like son, like master like man, For -Thank God the duvet is there to cover whatever follows after that.In which Yunhyeong tries to deal with his anxiety, insert Hanbin, who is the main cause of it all.





	the day before yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> as mentioned in the tags, yunhyeong is overthinking but he's actually dealing with something close to anxiety. i tried to depict it in a way that it wouldn't come out as triggering, but it only ended up being too cumbersome and confusing to read. lol  
> fun fact: the original plot for this has four separate word documents and they had been chilling in my folder for six months, waiting for me to finish them up (ok that last bit sounded weird but)

Yunhyeong tries not to think about the day before yesterday.

There are a lot of things in his life that he can randomly pick out, and 85% of them would probably turn out to be something that he regrets. One of them would be giving Junhoe a blender for his birthday, because as soon as the boy received his present, he starts to learn drinking sandwiches. Another would be the day before yesterday.

Well, it's not actually a regret, but the way his heart lurches whenever he remembers the particular day isn’t exactly something that Yunhyeong wanna go through all over again, so he pushes the memory at the back of his head and hopes it stays there forever.

"Can you wake Hanbin up?"

Yunhyeong looks up from his egg rolls and meets eyes with Chanwoo, who peers back at him with mouth full of food.

"It's too early. Let him sleep."

"Hyung, it's 10 AM."

Yunhyeong shoots the younger a look before proceeding to his meal like any other unbothered person would.

"He's tired. Just let the guy sleep."

"But he's been sleeping for 8 hours!" Chanwoo argues, rice spitting out of his mouth in the process. Yunhyeong grimaces at him but slides over a napkin.

"Thank you." Chanwoo mumbles as he quickly dabs on the side of his mouth. "You really need to wake him up. You know that he gets cranky when he gets close to 10 hours of sleep."

"I guess we just have to deal with cranky Hanbin then. I don't see what's wrong with that."

"Hyung, the last time Hanbin had a proper amount of sleep, he yelled at me for spilling grape juice all over the couch."

"That's because you deserved it, idiot!"

Chanwoo groans and dramatically spreads his arms over the table. "That's not my point!"

"Why don't you just do it yourself then?"

"But why can't  _you_  do it? Or rather, why won't you?" Chanwoo is obviously provoking him.

Yunhyeong sighs and places his chopsticks down the table. The gesture should be enough for Chanwoo to be scared of his life, but for some reason, no matter how much Yunhyeong tries, the younger boy just never gets intimidated by him. Yunhyeong's not entirely sure if that's a good thing or not.

"Did something happen between you two?" Chanwoo asks with a raised brow, and Yunhyeong sighs once again.

"Nothing _happened_ between us two."

And Yunhyeong _is_ telling the truth. Nothing really happened between Yunhyeong and Hanbin. As a matter of fact, nothing remotely new ever happens to them at all. And Yunhyeong is frustrated, because he’s not so sure if he should be happy about that or not. The way his chest sinks definitely indicates that he isn’t amused about it, but what exactly is Yunhyeong expecting between Hanbin and him to happen? It’s just all too complicated and Yunhyeong's not about to waste more of his time and dive into that.

"Fine. I'll wake him up." Yunhyeong finally decides while sending a glare towards the younger boy, who in return, only beams at him as he feels absolutely proud of himself for successfully persuading the older boy.

Yunhyeong tries not to think about the day before yesterday as he makes his way towards Hanbin's room.

Yunhyeong's usually a morning person. There's just something about waking up at the crack of dawn, when everyone else is still asleep, and the world is so peaceful and Yunhyeong can admire the sunrise quietly with a cup of coffee (or tea when he feels like it), and just think about things. Lately though, it hadn't been ' _things'_  he was thinking of. But people. Persons... Person?

Anyway, that morning had been entirely different.

Yunhyeong not only woke up with a throbbing pain in his head, but also with a certain  _someone_ filling up the entirety of his lame stupid brain.

Yunhyeong hasn’t managed to catch up with his sleep last night, as his mind is still groggy from the lack of sleep, and his heart is still racing in his chest, though Yunhyeong couldn't exactly fathom why.

To be honest,  _the day before_   _yesterday_  is actually quite uneventful. Yunhyeong stayed at the dorm the entire day, lazing around, playing with his phone and trying to look for a new hobby. But he didn't find any good ones, at least anything that piques up his interest anyway. Yunhyeong is actually considering to just add 'looking for a new hobby' as one of his actual hobbies. Yunhyeong was on the living room, watching a lame tv show when Hanbin walks in, all dressed up and ready to go. All Hanbin said is that he was going out with his friends.

Nothing exactly eventful happened the day before yesterday, that is, until 12 am rolls in and Hanbin still isn’t back so Yunhyeong distracts himself by watching a movie. And then the movie is over and Yunhyeong checks his phone and realizes it's almost 2 am, so he texts Hanbin if he's coming home. Yunhyeong tries to sleep then, but he couldn't for some reason, and finds himself checking his phone every now and then. He keeps tossing and turning in his bed, and then it's past 3 am and Hanbin still hasn't replied. And then he tosses some more, including the aching feeling creeping up in his chest, and the dreadful thoughts he so desperately wants to get rid of. But he can't easily just throw his thoughts out the window.

Yunhyeong stops thinking about that day when he pushes the door to Hanbin's room open and he sees the boy in his bed (just as he expected) with one arm raised to cover his eyes.

Hanbin is naked, or half-naked, Yunhyeong couldn't exactly see the lower half of his body with all the duvet and blankets covering him up. Either way, it isn't doing Yunhyeong any good. He trudges over reluctantly, afraid that the slightest sound might startle the other boy awake.

But isn't that what Yunhyeong came here for? To wake him up?

But why does Yunhyeong find himself staring intently at the way Hanbin's half-opened mouth would huff out air very adorably? Yunhyeong's eyes trail from Hanbin's mouth, to his arm, the one propped over his eyes. Yunhyeong cannot even ignore the way how his triceps is emphasized in that position, but that doesn't exactly need some pointing out. Yunhyeong always knows that Hanbin has a slim physique. He also knows that the toned muscles complements his figure a lot. What he doesn't know (until now that is) is that it all makes him look good. Like  _really_  good.

His gaze falls on Hanbin's sharp collar bones, then trails down to his chest. Yunhyeong's eyes linger on Hanbin's Nihilism tattoo, watching how the younger’s chest rises as he breathes at a steady pace before he moves on to the one on his ribcage. It has been a while since Hanbin has gotten that weird tattoo, and Yunhyeong still can’t find himself to figure out what it is. His eyes then trail towards Hanbin's stomach, or abs, or whatever you call it, and he doesn't like the way his breath hitched when he did so he wills his eyes towards Hanbin's hip tattoo, which he soon realizes is a mistake. He starts reading the inked words on Hanbin's body.

_Like father like son, like master like man, For -_

Thank God the duvet is there to cover whatever follows after that.

Yunhyeong shakes his head and mentally tells himself to get it together. He's there to wake him up, not to ogle at his body like a creep.

Yunhyeong grabs the closest pillow to him before sitting on the small area of the bed with a heavy bounce. He knows Hanbin is a light sleeper, and something as simple as bouncing on his bed will immediately startle the boy awake. And it did.

Hanbin jolts a little and removes his hand away from his eyes, looking around him to process what just happened.

Yunhyeong tries not to think about the day before yesterday when Hanbin's gaze falls into his with his sleepy eyes and messy hair and annoyingly sexy collar bones.

"I'm here to wake you up." Yunhyeong says in a flat tone, and Hanbin groans as he lays back down on his pillow.

"Five more minutes." Hanbin turns to his side, away from Yunhyeong, and pulls the blankets up to his shoulders.

Yunhyeong hugs the pillow closer to him as he tries not to stare at the small part of Hanbin's back that the blankets failed to conceal.

_Dammit, blanket. You had one job._

"Hanbin, it's already past 10, and for his own sake, Chanwoo really wants for you to get your ass up now."

Hanbin doesn't stir, so Yunhyeong did the most obvious thing.

He hits Hanbin with the pillow.

"Woah, hey!"

Hanbin turns to him so quickly with a deep frown on his face that Yunhyeong starts to question why he did something so impulsive and stupid. Turns out, Chanwoo is right about Hanbin being cranky after a proper amount of sleep.

"I did warn you I was gonna hit you if you didn't get up!" Yunhyeong says defensively.

"No, you didn't!"

"Just get up. It's late, and we have a schedule in the afternoon." Yunhyeong stands up and prepares himself to leave. But before that, he tosses the pillow back on the bed, and he swears he wasn't aiming for Hanbin's face, but it lands there anyway and the latter grunts in annoyance.

Yunhyeong couldn't help the small giggle coming out of his mouth, and that seems to annoy Hanbin even more, because all of a sudden he is reaching over to Yunhyeong and it is too late before the older realizes what is happening.

Yunhyeong lands on his side and Hanbin pulls him by the waist to hoist the lower half of his body up the bed. Yunhyeong tries to resist, but Hanbin is just so much stronger than he is. Next thing he knows, he's being spooned by the younger boy, with one heavy leg draped over his own, just so Hanbin is sure that he wouldn't get away.

"Five more minutes." Hanbin says right against the back of Yunhyeong's neck, his breath tickling him and sending shivers down Yunhyeong's spine.

Yunhyeong tries not to think about the day before yesterday when he literally stayed up all night worrying about Hanbin, wondering if he's somewhere safe, wondering if he's okay, wondering if he's coming home. Hanbin normally texts him if he's coming home or not, and responds right away whenever Yunhyeong is the first one to text. That day was a different case though, and that's what drove Yunhyeong at the edge of the cliff.

It's normal to worry about your friend, right?

"Okay, you can have your five minutes." Yunhyeong tries to shove Hanbin's arm away - the one he tightly wrapped around Yunhyeong's waist - but the younger wouldn't budge. If anything, it only made Hanbin's grip tighten even more.

"Don't go."

Yunhyeong feels Hanbin snuggle closer towards him, pressing his forehead against Yunhyeong's nape. Now every time Hanbin exhales, Yunhyeong can feel his breath on his back. That isn’t the only thing Yunhyeong feels at that moment. One other thing is the warmth of Hanbin's bare chest against his back, and another is his racing heart that he desperately tries to calm down by clasping a hand over his chest.

"Can you even get back to sleep at this point?" Yunhyeong decides that maybe a conversation would help him get distracted.

"What makes you think I asked five more minutes to sleep?"

"What?"

Yunhyeong's heart soars when Hanbin laughs. The damned thing already makes Yunhyeong feels some type of things on normal circumstances, but having heard it right next to his ear almost made Yunhyeong curse out loud. In a good way.

"I meant five more minutes of  _this_ , silly." And to prove his point, Hanbin tightens his hold around Yunhyeong's waist and pulls him closer, though the last bit isn't physically possible since there's literally no space left between their bodies.

Five more minutes of  _this_  - of spooning, of cuddling, of breathing against the other's neck, of being bona fide platonic cuddly friends.

Maybe having a conversation is a bad idea after all because Yunhyeong realizes that his heart is now beating twice as fast as it originally did.

Yunhyeong shuts his eyes close, and tries to block out the feelings from the day before yesterday.

The feeling of restlessness as he waits for Hanbin to text him back. The feeling of anxiety as he proceeds to think about the possible things that could have happened to Hanbin. The relief when Hanbin finally texts him back, and says that he's fine and Yunhyeong doesn't have to worry because Jaewon's place is absolutely safe. And the feeling of  _idiocy_ – if that's even some kind of emotion – because at that moment, Yunhyeong could not help but feel like a total idiot.

How utterly stupid of him to worry about Hanbin when he's actually  _fine_. How stupid of him for staying up, waiting for Hanbin to get home or to text him back, while the latter's probably having the time of his life over at Jaewon's place with no other than  _Jaewon_ himself.

The next feeling that followed is Yunhyeong's least favorite. It's ugly, it's making him mad, it's clouding his rational thoughts, and every time he thinks about Hanbin and Jaewon spending the night together, it just makes him want to punch a hole through a wall.

He had been trying to figure out for weeks, why all of a sudden, Hanbin started to look different. Yunhyeong thought maybe it was just his hair, because the younger recently had it trimmed. But at some point last week, Hanbin managed to smile in the middle of their conversation and Yunhyeong falters yet again. Yunhyeong started to notice the little things, like the way Hanbin touches Yunhyeong’s neck for no damn reason at all, the way Hanbin always takes the seat beside him in the car, the way Hanbin remembers how Yunhyeong likes his coffee, the way Hanbin laughs, and finally the way Hanbin stares at him quietly when he thinks Yunhyeong isn't aware.

Yunhyeong had been trying to figure out for weeks, why all of a sudden, everything feels so different around Hanbin. Why did his heart race when Hanbin rushed over at him to fix his collar right before they started a performance? Why did he suddenly start to care about whether Hanbin eats properly and gets a decent amount of sleep? What does it matter when Hanbin doesn't text back because he's busy spending his precious time with Jaewon?

Funny how that last bit was the breaking point of it all.

It's just like they all say, ' _Pain tells you more than butterflies ever do'_.

"Yunhyeong."

"What?" Yunhyeong is probably too surprised by the interruption that that came out a little rude, so he tries again. "I mean, what?" There isn't actually much difference.

There's a pause, and Yunhyeong can feel Hanbin hesitating by the way his hold around him loosens.

"I'm really sorry. About yesterday, I mean."

That entire statement gives Yunhyeong the courage to turn his body around to face Hanbin. Hanbin still has an arm around Yunhyeong's torso, though the leg has been brought down, but they're facing each other now. And it's too close. Dangerously close.

Yunhyeong tries to stare at anywhere else but Hanbin's chest, or collar bones, or arms, or just anywhere he finds it too distracting. 

"Sorry?" He asks, confused.

“I guess I was too tired that I completely forgot that I was on breakfast duty yesterday. I swear I didn't make you take over my shift on purpose."

Oh, right. The breakfast duty.

Hanbin arrived at the dorm at around 6AM yesterday, right around the time Yunhyeong was making breakfast. Hanbin was acting a little too cheerful for a person who didn’t get an ounce of sleep. And from the way he followed Yunhyeong around the kitchen until the older was done preparing the meal, Yunhyeong can only guess that the boy was starving. What, Jaewon's place is _absolutely safe_ but it doesn't have food in it?

"It's fine. I didn't even realize it was your turn to cook breakfast."

"Well, I just assumed because you looked hella furious while frying those bacon."

Yunhyeong snorts. "It wasn't the bacon's fault."

"So, it was my fault?"

"No! It wasn't your fault either. It's just-" Yunhyeong stops to decide if he really wants to say this out loud. After all, he has been trying not to think about it, and he believes that saying it out loud would only just validate it. And Yunhyeong thinks that doing so would bring all the denial he did for nothing. But this is Hanbin - Hanbin who stares at him with a very soft and patient expression, so Yunhyeong settles with something safe. "You know how I resort to cooking whenever there's something bothering me?"

"Oh." Hanbin's voice drops and Yunhyeong notices the flicker of pity that flashes across his face.

Yunhyeong regrets it immediately, and starts to wonder if he said more than he was supposed to. This is exactly why he never bothers opening up to people, because they always just end up staring at you like they’re sorry, and looking like they want to take away your own pain.

Yunhyeong guesses that the next thing Hanbin is gonna do is pry, or ask about what bothered him, or if Yunhyeong wants to talk about it.   

"I hope it worked."

The words made Yunhyeong frown but he says nothing, and instead just waits for Hanbin to continue because he just couldn't find the energy to ask about what he means. Whatever is running through Kim Hanbin's mind right now, as Yunhyeong lays there in front of him, sharing a fraction of one of his many flaws, Yunhyeong just doesn't want to find out.

"I hope the cooking helped in getting your mind off of whatever bothered you."

Yunhyeong wants to cry right there and then, because he wasn't expecting Hanbin at all to say that. But here he is anyway, telling Yunhyeong that he hopes his own little personal therapy worked.

It's like Hanbin accepts the fact that Yunhyeong goes through some stuff, and also knows that Yunhyeong is absolutely capable of dealing with it on his own. It's not much but Yunhyeong finds it really sweet, and it's certainly one of the best things anyone has ever said to him.

If only Hanbin knew that he was the cause of it all.

"It didn't." Yunhyeong chuckles despite the statement. "But it's okay."

Yunhyeong tries not to think about the day before yesterday, a.k.a. the ultimate trigger for him to realize about his feelings for Hanbin.

He tries not to think about yesterday, when after he made breakfast for his two housemates, he spent the entire day locked up in his room listening to Daniel Caesar on repeat, where he kept denying to himself that he was having feelings for Hanbin.

Yunhyeong also tries not to think about the present, when he finally admitted to himself that he is, indeed, in love with Hanbin. Yunhyeong tries not to think at all, because he realizes that thinking never does him any good. Instead, Yunhyeong savors the moment now, where Hanbin lays only a few inches away from him. He tries not to think, but his mind fights back, telling him to just get up and run away, because  _this isn't right. You're not supposed to be in love with him._

But just how can he when the only thing he doesn't wanna run away from is right there in front of him?

Yunhyeong stares right into Hanbin's eyes, his heart racing a mile per minute, and he wants nothing else but to kiss his stupid face right there and tell him,  _thank you. T_ _hank you for being the reason I stay up at night, for being the reason I get to look forward for another day because that means I would get to see you again. Thank you for saying the right things at the most unexpected moments, and for making me fall in love with you even more just when I thought it wasn’t even possible. Most importantly, thank you for making me know how to feel – for filling up my mind and driving me near to insanity, for stirring my emotions that I couldn’t decide whether the best option would be kissing you or punching you right on the face. Thank you for reminding me that I am capable of feeling all those things and letting me know that I can get over them too. I really want to tell you how much you mean to me right now, but I don't think it's the right time. Thank you for the days we spent and for all the days to come. I love you, and until it feels like the right time - until I feel like I'm ready - I'm keeping that to myself. I hope we stay this way for a long time._

"Yunhyeong?"

Yunhyeong snaps out of himself when Hanbin calls his name. The latter stares at him with a concerned look, his brows furrowing just a little bit.

"You spaced out."

Yunhyeong only laughs, and finally forces himself to sit up. He looks over at Hanbin again and gives the younger a smile. He can still feel the subtle pain in his heart, but at least it feels better than yesterday and the day before that. He's still pretty much aware of the thoughts lingering in his mind, but he thinks he knows how to deal with them now.

Yunhyeong finally pushes himself off the bed, feeling like some weight has finally been lifted off his back.

"Let's go. I believe it's been over five minutes."

 

**Author's Note:**

> there's actually more to the story, if we consider hanbin's and chanwoo's point of views, but im too unmotivated to start with their perspectives and i felt like the story would just be enough with yunhyeong's pov alone (is it?). anyway, thank u so much for reading this. i have been doing a lot of writing for the past few months but i never finished anything until today! so yay! if u have any questions about the story (bc i know it's really confusing and im truly sorry about that) feel free to leave a comment ♥


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